Guide to doin' THE THING!

Absolutely take this to heart, read it undistracted, take some notes. Really let it seep into your soul, It will be life-changing.

• Positive self-talk and visualization

I am *Insert your name here* and I can do anything cuz I am master of being me! That includes acknowledging that even masters need help from time to time, and I will ask for help on the things I cannot do, to increase my master level even MOAR!

• Create a routine and stick to it! If you wanna use journaling for that...

Make it a habit and choose a specific time every day. Throw it in the calendar, put reminders on your PC and phone, get an accountability buddy and have them remind you too. There are servers out there JUST for this! It works! Journaling, start with just a small amount of text. Dont judge or censor yourself. Focus on the good stuff, not just the bad! BE PROUD OF YOSELF! Write an evaluation of yourself of the day. IDK if it helps or is a girly thing, but use colored pens? Red for bad, green for good, black for neutral? Re-read it! Reflect at the end of the week/month/whatever and see how you have grown and changed.

• Find meaning in reaching out beyond what "the thing is to fix".

Understand why the task is important and what impact it has if you do do it (Positive) or if you chose to ignore it (Negative). Write out the pros/cons for each, and it might help you visualize that this is literally a good thing to do.

• Reframe your thoughts

Change your perspective on the task and focus on the positive! If you concentrate on "Omg i have to talk to someone, this is so scary >< I wont do it, its too scary!" and keep repeating that, you will never do it. Say "Hey there is someone out there that needs something fixed, and it is up to me to fix it!" Make it like a video game! I will be their hero! That includes asking "The King" (The Scary thing) for his "blessing" (The Task). Even though it is scary to approach the King, he is the king after all, it is neccisary for this adventure! 😄

• Set small goals alongside the ultimate goal

Breaking the task into a small goal increases your sense of accomplishment. "Today the goal is 'I will ask for help with this hard thing i have trouble with' Hopefully by the end of the week I will have a plan of how i can accomplish my task!"

• ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY

Tell someone about your plan, ask them to hold you accountable.

• Motivate and Reward yourself

Set up a reward system for yourself for completing the SMALL task! "Ok I really wanna check "Best of" Reddit right now, but I know I need to reach out to my boss about this thing that is hard. I wont check reddit until I ask my boss! Then after I ask, I will check reddit as a treat!"

• Visualize success:

Imagine yourself finished! You completed the task! How will you feel? "I did the hard thing! Yeah! Im growing! Im Awesome! We helped someone! Im building rapport with my boss! I can conquor the world!"

• Mindfulness!!! -THIS IS A BIG ONE FOR ME!-

• • Be aware you are an animal, some flavor of monkey. Don't let negative thoughts distract you. "Why yes, I am experiencing fear. Good job brain! That is your job, to do "fight or flight" in the face of fear, whether by a scary thing, a life threatning thing, or a traumatic response to the past. I am proud of you, brain, for acknowleding this feeling, but you know what? My life is not in danger. There is no threat... and Is this -really- that scary? Whats the worst that could happen by reaching out for help? Will I be in pain for reaching out? Will my life be inconvienecned in any way? If not, then I know its paranoia, and the fear is caused by you, MONKEY BRAIN! SO FUCK YOU! I will do what I have to do, because that is my job, and not only is it required of my job, and actually my job WILL be in danger if I DONT do this thing.... but it will help me grow and be AN EVEN BETTERERER PERSON! WOO!

• Positive Self-Talk:

Identify negativity when you think it. Pay attention to the bad things you say to yourself, make a list of the negative patterns OR EXCUSES you've noticed, share them with someone you trust!! "My boss is really busy, I dont wanna bug him" "I dont have time for this today" etc. etc.

• Challenge DEM negative thoughts!!!

When you catch yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself if the thought is truly accurate and fair. That includes being fair with yourself. Is your brain being fair TO YOU? Is it being paranoid? This goes along with mindfulness.

• Replace BAD BRAIN WITH GOOD BRAIN

Replace a negative thought with a positive one that is realistic, avoids paranoia, and HELPS! For ex: if you catch yourself thinking "I'm not good enough," replace it with "I am capable of this task, and have the strength to use my resources (reaching out) that will help me succeed."

• Affirmations (This one does not help me, but maybe it would help you)

Maybe in your journal, write down and repeat positive affirmations to yourself, such as "I am worthy and deserving of happiness and success." "I am fully capable of reaching out for help when I don't know the answers, and it is okay to not know the answers."

• Surround yourself with positivity

Seek out positive people and media that will reinforce your self-positivity! Find a reddit about motivation and read through that instead of looking through "Best of"! Especially when you are struggling. It may help motivate you to be like "YEAH! I DO GOT THIS! IMA TALK TO MY BOSS! 😃"

• Practice, Practice, Practice!

EVERY TIME you are struggling, read through this list. It doesn't hurt. Maybe one thing that helped you last week wont work this week, and another one will this time.

• Nip problems in the bud!

Yes, and bad days / bad things happen to EVERYONE, but, if the thing youre doing wrong becomes chronic, thats when it will become an issue, reach out for help you BEFORE it becomes even a small issue. Your best chances at getting promotions and stuff come from having a great reputation.

I dont want to make anyone paranoid about "omg I must never never mess up" but i DO want to make you make a habit about "I need to fix problems I have that i have acknowledged as problems before they become a chronic problem and damage my reputation, and be open to feedback and make effort to change my bad habits about new problems I didnt know I had in the future" For example, not reaching out CONSISTANTLY could be a chronic problem, and you absolutely need to take steps to make sure that it gets addressed before it starts to damage anything. Even if it hasn't so far, dont wait for it to start damaging things BEFORE you try and work on fixing it.

A small drip over time is no big deal, but when it becomes a flooded basement, it's best to deal with it while it's a drip! A few small steps can make a lot of movement, and is way better than no steps at all.

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You can get past your own barriers! Be detailed in your struggles to someone you trust, and brainstorm solutions. There IS a solution to EVERY problem you come across, and it isnt a matter of "Can we overcome it?" its a matter of "HOW DO we overcome it? and what steps do we take to do it? And lets assign a task list to yourself and support system to get through it, tapping into your individual strengths to overcome the hardest struggles!"

Utilize your strengths and weakenesses for the good AND the bad! In every aspect of your lives! The example I always use: I hate dishes but love laundry! So, if, for example, someone else doesnt mind dishes, but hates laundry... Then you are the perfect fit for that! But, if for example, you ALSO hate dishes AND laundry, then let me do the laundry, and then work out a system for alternating dishes or other chores (or whatever)!

This is the same in your professional life! Even though it doesnt look the same, it is the EXACT same. Compromise and teamwork! ❤️ We are social creatures! Reach out for help when you need it! From your family, friends, therapist, counselor, significant other, or even strangers online! People love to help eachother! The first step is admitting you have a problem, and then the second is to reach out to someone who can help you!

People believe in you! We as a species believe in eachother. Society does a lot to fuck us up, you just gotta surround yourself with the people that you fit best with ❤