Making Friends Is Difficult

Check out Guide to Making Friends as to how to make friends!

If you're still having trouble even after all of that... it's time for a hard conversation.

If you're still having issues.... reevaluate the problem - "If everywhere you go it smells like shit, maybe it's time to check your own shoes."

If you're having issues making friends everywhere you go, consider that you may be contributing to the problem, even if it is completely unintentional. As the saying goes, "If everywhere you go it smells like shit, maybe it's time to check your own shoes." It is always a good idea to take personal responsibility for our own actions and surroundings, and to consider whether there might be something that you can do to improve the situation if there are aspects of your behavior or personality that are causing difficulties in your relationships with others. Check out this list:

• Focus on being a kind and genuine person. Try putting the wants and needs of the people you are interested in befriending above your own in a healthy manner. Could you be coming off poorly by appearing to be selfish, inconsiderate, or offputting?

• Reflect on your behavior: Think about how your actions and words might be affecting the way others perceive you. Are there things you can do differently in order to be more likable? Could you be trauma dumping, negative, or being lewd to others and it scares them off?

• Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in other people's shoes and consider how your actions might impact them. This can help you be more understanding and considerate of others. Even if unintentional? Something might look right from your side but wrong from theirs. (See picture at the right. Who is right? The answer: Both of them.)

• Communicate openly and honestly: If you're having trouble connecting with others, try being more open and honest about your thoughts and feelings. This can help build trust and understanding in your relationships. People love to share stories! Do you come off as uninteresting or boring because you don't share your stories?

• Seek feedback: Ask a trusted friend or family member for their honest opinion about how you can improve your relationships with others. They may have insights that can help you make positive changes. Don't lash out when people tell you what you could improve on! They're trying to help!

Things to watch out for

• Lack of respect: A healthy friendship involves mutual respect. If you or your friend doesn't respect eachothers boundaries or doesn't treat eachother with kindness and consideration, this could be a red flag.

• Dishonesty: Trust is an important foundation for any friendship. If you or your friend is not being honest with eachother, this could be a red flag.

• Manipulation: If you or your friend is trying to manipulate or control each other, this is not a healthy dynamic and could be a red flag.

• Constant negativity: While it's normal for friends to have disagreements or to vent to each other about problems, if a friendship is consistently negative and draining, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

• Lack of effort: If you or your friend is not making an effort to spend time with eachother or stay in touch, this could be a red flag. Please note that everyone has different levels of social energy. Some people want to hang out every day, some people want to hang out once a year. BOTH are valid. BOTH can be loving friendships. Match yourself with someone who has the same level of needs as yours or one party will be upset, and it's NOONES fault.

How to fix the things to watch out for

Fixing Lack of Respect

Respecting your friends is an important part of maintaining healthy and positive relationships. Here are a few ways you can show respect to your friends:

• Treat them with kindness and consideration: Show your friends that you care about them and value their feelings by being kind and considerate towards them. This includes being patient, understanding, and supportive.

• Listen actively: Pay attention when your friends are speaking and show that you are interested in what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or talking over them, and try to really listen to their thoughts and feelings.

• Be reliable and dependable: Follow through on your commitments and be there for your friends when they need you.

• Respect their boundaries: It's important to respect your friends' personal space and privacy. If they are not comfortable with certain topics or activities, respect their wishes.

• Apologize when necessary: If you make a mistake or do something that hurts your friend, apologize sincerely and make an effort to make amends.

Fixing Dishonesty

Honesty is an important part of any healthy relationship, including friendships. Here are a few tips for being more honest with your friends:

• Be open and transparent: Share your thoughts and feelings with your friends and be open to hearing theirs in return. This can help to build trust and strengthen your friendships.

• Don't hold back: It can be tempting to hide certain aspects of ourselves or to downplay our feelings, but being honest and authentic is an important part of any healthy relationship.

• Practice active listening: When your friends are speaking, really listen to what they are saying and try to understand their perspective. This can help to foster honesty and open communication.

• Don't be afraid to say "I don't know": It's okay to not have all the answers or to admit when you don't know something. By being honest about your limitations, you can build trust and strengthen your friendships.

• Apologize when necessary: If you make a mistake or do something that hurts your friend, be honest and apologize for your actions.

• Be yourself: If you are not you, then people will now, and it will not be good.

Fixing Manipulation

• Acknowledge your behavior: The first step in changing any behavior is to recognize that it is a problem. Take some time to reflect on your actions and how they might have affected your friends.

• Consider the motivations behind your behavior: Are you manipulating your friends to get what you want, or are you trying to control their actions or feelings? Understanding the motivations behind your behavior can help you to see how it might be harmful to your friendships.

• Practice empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. By practicing empathy, you can better understand how your friends might be feeling and how your actions might be impacting them.

• Communicate openly and honestly: Instead of manipulating your friends, try to communicate openly and honestly with them. Share your thoughts and feelings and listen to theirs in return.

• Seek support: If you are struggling to stop manipulating your friends, it might be helpful to seek the support of a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. They can help you to work through your motivations and find healthier ways to communicate and interact with others.

Fixing Negativity

By taking these steps, you can work to shift your mindset and reduce negativity in your friendships. It may take some time and effort, but with practice and self-care, you can learn to be more positive in your relationships.

• Identify the root cause of your negativity: Are you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or unhappy in other areas of your life? Sometimes, negative thoughts and behaviors in one area of our lives can spill over into our relationships. By identifying the root cause of your negativity, you can start to address the underlying issue.

• Practice gratitude: Focusing on the things that you are grateful for can help to shift your mindset from negative to positive. Try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down a few things that you are thankful for each day.

• Seek support: If you are struggling with negative thoughts and feelings, it can be helpful to talk to someone about it. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support.

• Find healthy ways to cope: It's normal to have negative thoughts and feelings from time to time, but it's important to find healthy ways to cope with them. This could include practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, or finding healthy outlets for stress, such as exercise or creativity.

Fixing Spending Time With Your Pals

By following these tips, you can make an effort to spend time with your friend and strengthen your relationship. Remember, friendships take time and effort to maintain, but the rewards of having close, supportive friendships are well worth it.

• Make plans: Set aside specific times to meet up with your friend, whether it's for a coffee, a meal, or a leisure activity.

• Keep in touch: Even if you can't meet up in person, you can still stay connected by texting, messaging, or chatting on the phone.

• Be open to different activities: Your friend might have different interests or preferences, so be open to trying new things or doing activities that your friend enjoys.

• Be flexible: Life can be busy, and plans can change. Be open to adjusting your plans or rescheduling if necessary.

• Show interest in your friend's life: Ask your friend about their interests, their day, or other aspects of their life. This can help to create opportunities for conversation and connection.

• It's OKAY to be a low maintenance friend. Some people need interaction every day, or every week, or every month, directly or indirectly. Some people don't. It's also okay to just be in the corner loving everyone from over there. If someone tries to peer pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with, that is NOT A FRIEND! <3

FIXING BE YOURSELF

Don't try to be something you're not, or it will come off very awkward and off-putting. If you're feeling nervous about being yourself, I have some news for you - anyone who doesn't like you for your authentic self is not a true friend, and consider them a dodged bullet. Everyone has different wants and needs in life, and the people that click with you, will click when you are being your true self. If they click when you are pretending, they are not authentic, and the friendship will usually end poorly.

GOOD LUCK

Good luck on your quest for friends. If you would like someone to give you personal feedback, please use #tell-us-things, we can tell you what youre doing wrong if we know, and if we dont, we might be willing to investigate and let you know our findings to help ya. <3

THX

Thanks to ChatGPT for some basic guidelines xD!